Thursday, June 19, 2014

May Favorites - 2014 | Elizabeth Vasquez

Hello Everyone!

I realize that we are more than half way done with the month of June, but I failed to post a May favorites last month. As you may know, I've been away from the blogging world for a bit to try to deal with some life stuff. If you would like to know why, then you can read all about it here. If found these photos in my camera and decided that they shouldn't go to waste. Here are the things that I loved during the month of May.


May Favorites - 2014


Skincare:

- First Aid Beauty Facial Radiance Serum: I'm a really big fan of serums. They make my skin feel so much better and really help my moisturizers absorb into my skin. This serum is perfect for people with uneven skin and dark spots. I've used this for a little over a month and my dark spots have continued to get lighter and my skin looks much more even. This is a bit on the pricy side, but it is well worth the money. 

- Bioré Deep Cleansing Pore Strips: This is a product that I have used for years and most people know of. I'm not too sure what the major difference is between these and the regular pore strips, but I tend to choose these in hopes that they might make my face look amazing. These are perfect for clearing up the pores in your nose area.


Hair:

- Garnier Fructis Style Sleek & Shine Anti-Humidity Smoothing Milk: Just to give you an idea of how extreme the weather is in Texas, I will tell you that the sun is completely gone and it is 98 degrees Fahrenheit outside right now. With this weather comes frizzy hair. I've talked about this smoothing milk before and will continue to use this for the rest of my life. It helps to control the frizz in my hair and makes my hair feel so soft. It doesn't make your hair feel stiff or weighed down. It is also a great way to keep your hair from looking dry as well.

- Not Yours Mother's Plump For Joy Thickening Hair Lifter: This product is the reason that I want to try every single one of the Not Your Mother's products. I was looking for something that would instantly give me volume without making my hair feel stiff and this product does just that. Th texture is that of a gel which was very unexpected since it is in a spray bottle. I spray a couple of pumps into my palms and rub it into the roots of my hair. It works on either wet or dry hair and gives loads of volume.


Makeup: 

- L'Oreal True Match Foundation (N3): I mentioned this product in my last favorites but in a different shade. Sometimes my skin tone isn't as warm as it is other days and I found that the neutral tone works best for me. This line has so many different shades that it would be almost impossible to not find one that fits you.

- Sonia Kashuk Hidden Agenda Concealer Palette (Light): I am obsessed with the MAC Pro Longwear Concealer and when I ran out I needed something quick. I picked this concealer palette up at Target as a quick backup and I am so glad that I did. With this palette you are able to mix the colors to find your perfect shade. I use the top two shades the most for under my eyes and on dark spots. It also comes with a green toned concealer to cover dark circles and a setting power. This concealer will cover just about anything and blends very easily.



MAC Matte Lipstick (Velvet Teddy): This Summer I am all about the nude lips. MAC lipsticks are definitely my favorite lipsticks to wear. This is a beautiful pinky nude shade that is a bit more creamy than matte. It isn't drying on the lips, but doesn't have a glossy finish either. This is the perfect lip color to pair with any type of eye look.

MAC Lip Pencil (Dervish): It wasn't until this past month that I became interested in lip liners. I was a bit terrified of using them, but when I saw this shade I had to try it. This lip pencil is a pink shade with a pearly finish to it. As opposed to just using this to line my lips, I will actually fill in my entire lips with it. The color lasts for a really long time and it makes my lips look fuller than they actually are.



- Maybelline Color Tattoo (Sleek & Spice): Because I have been using mostly nude lipsticks, I have been going a bit darker on my eyes. I know that this is not exactly the thing to do during the Summer, but it's what I have been enjoying to do lately. These Color Tattoos are great for quick looks that last all day. This shade is a taupe that leans more on the brown side. It looks beautiful on its own, under other shadows, or combined with other shadows in the crease.

- NYC Liquid Eyeliner (Black): I don't know if it is just me, but eyeliner always disappears from my eyes. I leave the house with it and when I return it is completely gone. I love the Kat Von D eyeliner, but it is a bit on the pricy side. I picked this up as a cheaper alternative and it is amazing. It is super dark and stays on my eyes the entire day. It is a bit tricky when you first apply it since it is so wet, but once it dries you are set. It is extremely inexpensive and easy to apply.


Random:

Dr. Dre beats: I am not a big fan of headphones that go over the head because of my small head. Most headphones are too big and fall off, or too low and make it difficult to listen to the music. I never knew what all the hype was on headphones that covered the entire ear, until I tried these. I have the studio version of these beats and they are amazing. Once you listen to music on these bad boys, music will never sound the same when you listen to it any other way. Everything is so clear and you can really appreciate the songs that you like. I do have to wear these in the smallest way possible and they are still a bit big, but I can work with them.


Contact case: There's not much to say about this contact case except for the fact that it is adorable. I love anything with flowers on it so when I saw this case in Forever 21, I had to have it.

Bows: I have been obsessed with bows this Spring/Summer. They add something really cute to any outfit and can be worn so many different. These can be found very inexpensive at Forever 21 in loads of different colors.

Hope you enjoyed this post :)
What are you looking forward to most this Summer??

Monday, June 16, 2014

Half a Step Forward, Two Hundred Steps Back | Elizabeth Vasquez

I don't know the actual intention of this post, let alone if it will ever be posted. So much has been going on that I needed to get it all down. Out of my head and heart and down into words.  I guess in a way I feel as though maybe, just maybe, if I write it all down it will all just go away. Get better. Anything really. All the improvements that I have made over the past year have gone down the toilet. They are basically inexistent at this point. I started this journey a little over a year ago, at a very low time in my life. I was overcome with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. I took a leap and started this little blog where I could share what I loved to do, with complete strangers. Over the year I shared my likes, tips and life. I was so eager to post a new look or review as soon as possible in the beginning. Slowly these posts have diminished into a couple a month. This is not because I have lost interest, or want to stop. I have fallen back into my old ways and it has been a difficult procedure to find my way back. So difficult in fact, that I am still trying to get out of the hole that I have fallen into. 
Although I don't necessarily have to explain my situation to anyone, I feel as though I owe you this much. My father has cirrhosis. This is the final stage of liver disease. Last year, he was taken to many different doctors and put through numerous tests. Nothing. That is the same thing we would hear after every appointment. They couldn't find anything that was making him ill. Just looking at his physical being, we could tell something was clearly wrong. His weight dropped to a hundred pounds. He couldn't keep a singe bite of food down. It got to the point where he couldn't stand without falling over. He started needing help with everyday tasks. He couldn't drive, walk, or stand on his own. He always put a brave face on and acted as though it wasn't as bad as it looked. After all, the doctors couldn't anything so he must be fine. Right? It was one event that took place when I knew it was bad. Most of the time my mother was around to help my dad do things. This particular day, my mom was out and I was the only one in the house. I was getting ready for work and I heard knocking on my wall. The noise came from the bathroom located right next my room. My father had gone to the bathroom and was unable to stand on his own. He had been trying to stand for a while and was unsuccessful. I could see the tears in his eyes as he asked if I could help him up. He just keep repeating how sorry he was. It wasn't his fault, but I knew he felt guilty. I don't think anyone could ever image having to do that to their daughter. This was about his pride and dignity. At this point, he lost any that he had left. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. My father has been ill for years, but this is the worst we have ever seen him. It breaks my heart to look at him in the condition that he is in right now. We know it's not long now. You know the situation is bad when relatives you haven't seen in years, start to visit. I have terrible anxiety attacks when I think about losing my father. I'm his only daughter. How am I supposed to be daddy's little girl, if he isn't here anymore? How am I supposed to go on without him? Will he ever get to see me graduate from college? See me get married? Walk me down the isle? The worst thing is not knowing how long he will be around. It is like a waiting game. A game that I would rather not play.
I don't believe my father's situation is the only reason my depression has taken over my life. Usually when my depression kicks in, I go a couple of days before I feel better. This time it has been months. I always have anxiety, but my anxiety attacks have been going on every day. I feel lost. Insecure. Confused. Most days I don't have the energy to get out of bed. Daily tasks have become almost impossible to complete. All of the energy and motivation has been drained from my body. In fact, I have been working on this post for about two weeks now. This is not because I have been working so hard to make it completely perfect or organize all of my thoughts. I go to work and go home. I force myself to go out with friends. It is rather difficult to completely enjoy yourself when, in the back of my head all I can think about is being alone. It's summer and I have yet to start enjoying it. My thoughts are running through my head at a million miles per hour. Anytime I go out, I feel constantly judged on what I look like. My weight, shape, clothes, face,... everything. When I hear someone laugh, I automatically think that their laughing at me. As soon as I enter a store, I feel the pressure. I feel as though everyone's attention is on me. Like they're all staring and judging. This is not the actual case. It is just me feeling uncomfortable and out of place. I don't feel comfortable with myself. The only thing that is getting me through this is knowing I have hit rock bottom. I have nowhere else to go, but up. This is what gets me through the day.
Today I'm not as bad as I was yesterday. Everyday I'm trying to improve myself and get back to where I was mentally and emotionally. It's not gonna be easy and I don't guarantee that I will be 100% better. This is something that I'm going to have to struggle with the rest of my life. It is gonna be a constant battle with myself. I may lose today and win another day. This doesn't mean the war will ever end. This is something that is very difficult to get down into words. I tend to keep everything to myself and now I am about to put this out into the world for everyone to judge. Deep down I know it's the right thing to do. I constantly feel judged anyways. At least I have the opportunity to help someone. Let them know that if they feel this way, they're not alone. You can never truly understand someone that goes what I go through on a daily basis. Unless, you go through it as well. It is very easy for someone to say that people with anxiety are just being dramatic. It is another thing to try to understand what they are going through. You might not always be able to help, but just knowing you have their support means the world to people with anxiety. For now I am just trying to keep calm. Get my life together. I hope you'll be there along the way.

Love you always.
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